Lost Gilligan Island Episode: The Professor Gives Mrs. Howell A Boob Job

It's happened again.

Just discovered in a nearly forgotten film vault somewhere in Hollywood is the never before seen Gilligan's Island episode where the Professor convinces Mrs. Howell to let him give her a boob job.

The lost episode, which is scheduled to appear on HBO on April 2nd, begins with the Professor's contrived story about the need to give each of the castaways a routine, thorough physical. He tells them about an island fever he once read about that, if it goes untreated, can cause delirium-related orgies among perfect strangers. While the Skipper isn't exactly troubled with the possibility of having both Marianne and Thurston at the same time, Mrs. Howell masks her fears by pretending she doesn't know what an orgy means.

The Professor then jumps on the bamboo bike and pedals up enough electricity to project a couple of his porn films against the bed sheets that are hanging on the clothes line. Gilligan, who, unlike Mrs. Howell, has never participated in an orgy, begins to say dopey things and make dopey faces which then gets Ginger all hot.

Anyway, everyone agrees to the physicals and they form a line outside of the Professor's hut which he has somehow managed to decorate like a doctor's office. At one point the Skipper tries to cut in line in front of Mrs. Howell and the Professor knocks him out.

When Mrs. Howell makes it into the hut, the Professor is already naked and is playing a Barry White album on a portable turntable that is being powered by a monkey turning a crank. He hands Mrs. Howell a martini and then cuts her dress off with a box cutter that he stole from a tackle box on board the Minnow.

During the examination Mrs. Howell confesses her embarrassment to which the Professor replies, "It's all perfectly natural Mrs. Howell. I'm a professional and you're a patient and I'm am going to wait until the exam is over before I oil up."

I don't want to ruin the show for you, but somewhere in the episode the Professor implants two medium-sized coconuts and Mrs. Howell becomes way over confident and a bunch of cat fighting breaks out.