Outdoor Uses For Your Refrigerator

I went political. I mean like in the postal sense, which is not good because anything that makes you crazy might possibly alter you permanently, like my aunt.

In an effort to change the subject, I took the refrigerator out of the kitchen while my wife was at work and laid it down in the driveway. I stood back and looked at it a while, trying to think of at least a dozen different things that it could be other than a refrigerator. I came up with a pretty impressive list that I am going to share with my two readers and then I will email it to each of the Presidential candidates.

As you can see from the picture, a refrigerator makes a really nice work bench. Just lay it on it's side and put a piece of plywood on it and you're done. Problem with that is nobody gets to see it but you and your cat, if you let your cat come in your workshop.

Another idea, and this one's really good because you can color coordinate, is to use your refrigerator as an outdoor planter. Without too much thought you can find certain colored plants that will bloom the same color as the refrigerator.

I also like using a refrigerator outdoors to attract wildlife. Just set your refrigerator up on a six foot pole (laying down with the door area up but with the doors removed). Then fill the inside (freezer area too) with black sunflower seeds (about six 50lb bags should do), and watch what happens. Drink a couple of beers while you're waiting for the birds to arrive.

One night, after finishing off a couple of bottles of Red Label, I dragged my refrigerator over to my neighbor's house and laid it down in his front yard. Then, using his water hose, I filled it (the freezer area too) with water and added fish from another neighbor's pond. Pretty impressive.

One time when I had way too many empty beer cans to fit into my recycling receptacle, I filled my refrigerator with them, hooked it to the back of my Prius, and dragged the cans to the recycling center.

Another idea (and I may patent this one) is to pull up your old mailbox and replace it with your refrigerator. Note: You MUST remember to paint your house numbers on the side or the mailman may not deliver your mail. After adding your house numbers, grab a beer and wait for the mail man. When he arrives tell him that the top (freezer area) is for regular envelopes and the larger area is for packages. This can work just as well if you have a side-by-side, but it may take your mailman a couple of days to get the hang of it.

Finally, refrigerators are good traps. Say your neighbors have impolite children that scream and carry on while they play outside. Just put your refrigerator on the lawn (remember to leave the doors on) and it will usually trap the little bastards within just a few hours. You can then take it out into the woods and release them.

Tomorrow we'll look at using a washing machine to mix cement for your paving project.