Smirking Devils: Hand Carved by Fidel Castro

I've really got to get these out of my house. The other day while taking pictures for a CL post, I accidentally separated the pair and the leather chair in my den burst into flames. It’s not that I'm superstitious or troubled by the occult (as long as the devil makes his occasional earthly appearances at somebody else's apartment) it's just that lately things have gotten a little strange around here. Since I brought these home, my cat has gone from sleeping all day in the big wooden bowl on the dining table to walking backwards through the house and doing Sam Kinnison bits.

I don't want to scare you either. I mean, I came by them innocently enough. I stopped over at my parents house the other day to read them an article about the benefits of bequeathing an inheritance while still alive and fit enough to do the actual bequeathing, when my father interrupted and said, "Here, take these Smirking Devil book ends. I found them in one of your mother's shoeboxes with a bunch of love letters from Fidel Castro."

Anyway, each Smirking Devil is carved from a single piece of Sumatran Teak wood. They stand between 8 and 12 inches tall, depending on the phase of the moon when you measure them. Without Dr. Jones' (Sr.) secret decoder book, I really can't decipher all of the symbolism except to say that the face is a cross between Mick Jagger and Rosie O'Donnell, and both stomachs resemble an insect's underbelly, though not the same insect. They do have mysterious smirks and are holding the backs of their heads as if to say that too much book learning leads to baldness, which was the primary plank of Castro's early Marxist philosophy.

To try and learn more about these strange book ends, I did take the pair to University of Pennsylvania professor L. Thomas Boydon, a specialist in the study of obscure occult antiquities, but his secretary asked me to leave after I set them on his desk and he turned into a miniature horse.

These would make a great gift for the man in your life, especially if you recently found out that he was cheating on you. Or just mail them anonymously to your boss or favorite member of the clergy.

Both are in excellent condition with the exception of a chip out of the top part of one of the devil’s horns. That little piece could be fabricated locally or, if Castro is still reading his mail, you could order a replacement horn. $75